#myCMUlife

Dear Disappointment,

You suck. I’m sorry to put it so bluntly, but I don’t know what to do with you. When I’m sad I cry, when I’m happy I smile, but when I’m disappointed, I’m lost. I feel angry, frustrated, sad, annoyed, and confused.

Over the past couple of weeks, we’ve met a lot, and I still don’t know what to do with you. We met when my summer job got cancelled, when my grades weren’t what I wanted them to be, when my mom asked me to do something and I forgot, and that time I didn’t get the bag of chips that I wanted. Although that time we kind of just laughed at each other. I’ve noticed that you’ve been quite busy meeting some of my friends too. You met them when they didn’t get to graduate, when they had to go home without giving people hugs goodbye, and at other points too.

As much as I don’t know what to do with you Disappointment, I’m writing this letter to say thank you. Thank you for showing me what I care about, and for showing me that I’ve been vulnerable in telling people what I’m excited about. There’s a woman named Brené Brown, I think you’d like her. She writes that “the boldest among us will be disappointed, because [we are] brave enough to want something even though [we have] no control over the outcome.” She is pretty smart. Disappointment, you show me that I’ve been brave. I still don’t like you or want you around, but thank you.

Disappointment, you’ve taught me that I am in charge of my own story. As Brené Brown writes, “this is a hard part of my story, but it’s part of my bigger narrative and I’m going to own it, because I’m going to decide how it’s going to end.” You’ve taught me how to be creative. You tried to tell me that I couldn’t see my friends, but I went and sat on their lawn and pushed them cookies with a canoe paddle, so that we would be far enough apart. You tried to tell me I couldn’t celebrate my friend’s birthday, but we decorated her house, and sang Happy Birthday through Zoom. You tried to tell me that I couldn’t have movie or craft nights with my friends, but we sent each other craft packages and had Netflix Party movie nights. I may not know how things are going to end, but you don’t get to control my life. I have a say in how my story is going to go.

I still think that you suck, but I also think you’re sometimes misunderstood. You are expectations that aren’t realized. At least that’s what Brené Brown thinks, and I’d have to agree. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to have super low expectations, or no expectations, but that I’m going to try and be better at naming what they are so that others around me know. I’m going to try and keep living life to the fullest, knowing that we’re going to meet over and over again. But I’m not going to give up. When we meet again, I’m going to do my best to acknowledge you, and then say thank you for showing me that I was brave and that I cared.

Sincerely,
Natasha

Natasha Neustaedter Barg is a 3rd year Social Sciences student.

When I was younger, I always loved the game Guess Who. There’s something about having to ask good questions and getting to describe the whacky people that I just found fascinating. So, in honour of my childhood, who am I?

I am not an athlete, yet I work for the CMU Blazers.
I am not a musician, yet I play flute in CMU’s Concert Band.
I am not a scientist, yet I can tell you about the ecological revolution.
I am not a historian, yet I can tell you about the history of CMU’s building, Mennonites, and Christianity.
I am not a pastor, yet I can explain to you the different atonement theories and various feminist perspectives on the Bible.
I am not a book printer, yet I can set my own type and create my own stamps.
I am not a winner of the leadership scholarship, yet next year I will be CMU’s Student Council President.

Who am I?

I am a writer and an editor.
I am a friend, colleague, student, employee, teacher, speaker, and traveler.
I am a leader and a dreamer.

I am *drum roll please* …… Natasha Neustaedter Barg, a third-year General Social Sciences Major.

But how is it that I am all these things and more?

One of my two on-campus jobs is doing admissions for home sports games at CMU. Thus, I recognize and can name most of CMU’s athletes and I work for the CMU Blazers.

I also work for CMU’s Admissions Team as a Student Ambassador. I call students, inviting them to upcoming events; stuff envelopes to be mailed out; or do other little tasks for the Admissions Counsellors. I also get to give tours at events and learn about CMU’s building. I’ve gotten to learn about its history as a military base, school for the deaf, and all the spooky basement storage areas. I get a free CMU pen occasionally and also get free gelato at CMU’s Open House and Campus Visit Days.

I’m a bit biased, but I think that out of the 42 different on-campus jobs you can have here at CMU, the ones I’ve had are the best. You can also work in the library, clean the lounges, work at reception, shovel snow, and the list goes on. Having an on-campus job has been a great break from the stress of school, fed my Folio Café addiction, and helped me get to know a lot of different people here at CMU.

Through my degree, I take English classes such as History of the Book, where I learn how books were made; or Peace and Conflict Transformation Studies classes, where I learn about restorative justice in education; or Psychology classes, where I learn about trauma and resilience; and the list goes on.

Throughout the past three years, I have learnt how to look at the world through a lot of different lenses. Because of my degree, the jobs I have, and the practicum I did last year, I have something small in common with almost all the students here at CMU. I can talk to athletes about their last home game, to psychology majors about how weird Freud is, to communications majors about David Balzer and his Oral Communication class, and international students about how hard culture shock is.

Last year I did my practicum in Vietnam. For 11 months I taught English at a secondary school and got a small taste of how hard culture shock is and how different school systems can be. Here at CMU everyone is required to do a practicum regardless of what degree you do. These practicums allow us to take what we learn in class and apply it to the world and vice versa.

I am a writer and an editor.
I am a friend, colleague, student, employee, teacher, speaker, and traveler.
I am a leader and a dreamer.

Who am I?

I am a CMU Student.

Natasha Neustaedter Barg is a 3rd year Social Sciences student.

University comes with many opportunities to try new things, meet new and different people, and explore unfamiliar areas of knowledge. But all these options can often be overwhelming and confusing. This is where student advising comes in, and of all the choices to be made at university, making an advising appointment is one of the best.

Every first-year student at CMU automatically gets an advising appointment with our Coordinator of Student Advising, Vern Kehler. This initial session helps students plan out their first year of classes and think about the degree programs they’re interested in. But student advising doesn’t stop there.

Students can attend near-weekly academic workshops, held by professors and staff, on topics like note-taking, essay writing, speed reading, and many other helpful skills. Personally, I’ve always learned something new at these events!

CMU also offers financial counselling, specific academic advice from faculty advisors, and career advising. I sat down with Adelia Neufeld Wiens, CMU’s on-campus career counsellor, to talk about her work with students.

Malcolm: With all the advising options at CMU, what’s the difference between academic advising and what you do?

Adelia: Sometimes in academic advising sessions, students get bogged down with course choices and degree audit forms, which takes up most of their time. But I get to give students an opportunity to step back and ask the questions, “Who do I want to be? What am I good at? What am I passionate about?” It’s a chance to talk openly about the big picture and reflect.

So, career advising means a lot of resume work, right?

Yes and no! From time to time, we’ll look at resumes. But lots of people can write good resumes, and lots of people can coach you on how to write a good resume. A resume can always be improved, but I’m really about asking, “Does your resume reflect who you are? And who are you outside of this piece of paper?” I’m a big believer in asking questions that help students get at that clarity of personality. When you think about these questions, it helps you practice your personal “elevator pitch.” And it’s fun!

What advice do you have for students about to go into university?

Sometimes the question of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is really more of an obstacle. High school students have heard it their entire lives. People had an answer that came easiest in Grade 2, which became the expected answer in Grade 9, and by Grade 12 they don’t have any other ideas. But university ends up being a reality check — maybe that answer doesn’t match who you are anymore. For some people it crashes and burns, but that’s okay!

I often use the word “strategize.” And the strategizing starts now! Not just in what classes you’re taking, but also in what you’re learning about yourself as you take these classes. The earlier you start, the more deep and meaningful your degree will be for you.

So, you like to take a look at the big picture?

Career advising is self-examination, but it’s not just “Me, me, me” — but, “Me in the context of other people.” I also encourage students to ask, “Who am I in the face of economic disparity? Or climate change?” And CMU is such a good place to do that.

What do you enjoy about advising students?

I love meeting first-year students. I like learning about what high school was like for them, what their hopes and dreams were and are, and what they’ve learned about themselves after a semester at CMU. And what do they find themselves drawn to now? I love watching when the light comes on.

Thanks for taking the time to chat! Any final thoughts for students?

Career advising isn’t about leaving the meeting thinking, “I know I’m going to be an accountant.” Instead, I like to help students get a better idea of what’s important to them and what their strengths are. And then, you can start exploring some new things.

Malcolm Reimer is a 2nd year Science student.

I have an unfortunate tendency to dread the trips I take before they happen. The Sunday morning I left for Texas to do service with Mennonite Disaster Service (MDS) was no different.

I had done two MDS trips before; those were some of the best days of my life thus far. This time, however, I was drained from the first half of the university semester.

To be honest, what I really wanted to do over reading week—if I was to go away—was to be back at home or on a beach, sleeping. But I got up the Sunday morning of departure and met my fellow CMU students at the airport.

As soon as the plane took off, that regretful feeling never returned. When we arrived that evening in Wharton, about two hours south of Houston, I was ready to go. The next morning we were up and working on the job sites.

While other crews completed different tasks, I painted the interior of houses all week long. Although I like discussing, reading, and writing about ideas—the way I normally spend my days—it felt good to use my body, instead of my mind, to accomplish the tasks at hand.

It was also a reminder for me to take better care of myself. As university students are prone to do, I tend to neglect my body far too easily as a student. I don’t eat or drink enough, or get enough sleep. That wasn’t an option while with MDS! Working at painting all week was a valuable reminder that I need to take care of my body at all times. This is something I will remember in the mentally gruelling weeks to come.

Along with a reminder to take better care of myself, I was reminded to continue to be open to new people and experiences.

The group of ten CMU students and staff that went on the trip was diverse, with students from multiple faculties and nationalities. Other volunteers at the project were also different. The female CMU students shared a dorm room with a group of Old Order Mennonite women, and two of the project leaders were American retirees.

In other words, the people I interacted with throughout the week were unlike most people I connect with at home—and it was great. It was a valuable experience to be part of such a varied group of people working side-by-side for the greater good.

I also discovered what it meant for people like our group to come to help. During a conversation with a member of the local recovery committee, I learned how much respect local people have for volunteers who devote time to helping with reconstruction. It made me feel good to have given a bit of my time to MDS.

This week of new and worthwhile experiences came to an end too quickly, and the farewell was an emotional one. The connections we had made and the work we had done together was too genuinely good for it not to be that way. To think that I had been dreading this trip before I left feels strange to me now. I could not have predicted most of the experiences I had on this trip. The work we did, the people we met, and the place we lived filled me with a new and unforeseen beauty.

Emma Siemens is a 2nd year Social Sciences student.